Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hey, long time no see.

I have not written a blog in a hell of a long time. It's something I need to make time for. Just random bullshit that may only make sense to me. It may just be drunken ramblings. Fuck off. Take what you can get.

Drinking. Recently we have shied off of the fancy beers. We were on a huge fancy beer kick. What do you mean by fancy beer, you retarded alcoholic? We were rocking the micro-brews. Especially the ones from Wisconsin. I don't care where you are from, but seriously, Wisconsin has some of the best microbreweries in the country. Right here in Madison, I can get some of the best beers in the country. But money is tight right now, so we have slowed our roll. We just got a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I have always loved PBR way before it was the cool retro beer. It is just straight up beer. No Frills. Nice, clean, and crisp. We also enjoy the Miller Light. I am not a proponent of the light beer, but hey, sometimes it's just easier to drink what the wife likes to drink. We also have started making more mixed drinks. But we are making them with the cheapos. You do not need expensive alcohol to make good mixed drinks. I repeat. You do not need expensive alcohol to make good mixed drinks. Make all the arguements you want for expensive liquer and I will still slap you silly. Can you tell the difference? Sure. During the first drink. But after that all that matters is if it tastes good. Captain Morgan. Awesome. Ron Diaz or Admiral Nelson. Just as good. Ron Diaz and coke. That is the Captain Ron. Admiral Nelson and coke. That is the Mike Nelson. Hey, it's me, of course I will have a MSTK3000 themed drink name. Right now I am enjoying the Triple Deke. It's light rum, vodka, gin, orange juice and grenadine. Super awesome. I just faked eight goalies out of their jocks and I'm drunk. Here is an exception I will make though. We recently bought a bottle of Patron and I have to say I am hooked. Straight up in a shot, or in a super tastey Sunrise, Patron rules the tequila school. It is a splurge I am happy with. O.k. Enough with the drinking.

I love to watch the cooking shows. What I don't like are the douchebag snobs. Cocky, sure that's fine. Arrogant, now we have problems. I will beat you retarded and rip your "refined palate" right out of your face. Don't poo poo any ingrediants. Don't say you hate cooking for any kind of client. If I tell you to make me a bologna sandwich, you better make me the best fucking bologna sandwich I have ever had in my life. If you have to cook a meal for a five year old, make that meal the meal that kid compares every other meal they have for the rest of their life to. If I tell you to make me a meal out of canned food, make me think that you pulled it from the earth with your own two hands minutes before you cooked it. Oh, and one last thing. Fuck off with that foam shit. Seriously, if you served me that I would knock you the fuck out and jizz on your face.

That's all for now. Join me next time when I talk about the importance of Golden Tornadoes and the Dirty Sanchez.