Saturday, November 8, 2008

That's why no one loves you

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081108/pl_nm/us_usa_guns_1

You ignorant fucking hillbilly douchebags. Your guns are not going to be taken away. If you stupid fucks remembered that we have the second amendment, you wouldn't look like idiots. You all act like guns are going to be banished from the land every time a democrat gets into office. When you piss and moan about gun control, it means you support school shootings, police officers being shot, and criminals owning guns. Do you get a big hard-on every time innocent people are killed or seriously injured? It seems to me that you do, and that's creepy. You gun enthusiasts should be the ones coming up with gun control proposals. Doesn't that make sense?

Oh, and by the way. No one neeeeeds a semi-automatic. You just want one. And hey, that's cool. I collect stuff so I know what its like. And if you are a hunter and you say you need a semi-automatic weapon to hunt you are full of shit. One shot, one kill. Otherwise you are just ruining meat. You might as well start collecting stamps.

Gun control does need to happen. Maybe it should come from your side. If you still think that we don't need some kind of gun control measures then go to a town where a school shooting has happened. Interview the family and friends of students that were killed. See how their lives are forever changed.

I think everybody should shoot a gun at least once. Even if you are not a hunter, take a hunter's safety course. You will learn a lot of cool stuff.

Guns are not evil. They just have an exponentially larger ability to cause harm and great damage in the hands of the ignorant and evil.

Friday, November 7, 2008

What the???

I know that things have been looking bleak for awhile now. What with the failing economy and all. But here are some crazy things that make me smile.

AC/DC put out an album after eight years. Metallica puts out an album that doesn't suck, in fact it rocks old school. Smashing Pumpkins are back together. So far signs are pointing to the apocalypse. Then after about a billion years Guns and Roses finally are going to release Chinese Democracy. Uh oh, does that mean zombies are about to rise from the grave. No.

We got a shining beacon of light in the form of President elect Barack Obama. When he was announced as the new President you could almost hear the collective sigh of relief from around the world. I have heard some republicans say that they are sad for our country now. Let's think about that. You guys got eight years of George Bush and we had to sit back and watch him slowly destroy the country. McCain would have continued down that path. Republicans will say that that is ridiculous statement. Is it really? When you sit back and look at the numbers it would have actually gotten worse. Ten billion a month in war spending that would have continued. An energy plan that would have shelled out 800+ billion. Where exactly did you republicans think that money was going to come from? Magic? No. It would have come from higher taxes for everyone. It was either ignorance or blind faith. There was no possibility for McCain to deliver on his promises. So now you say you are sad. Why exactly? Are you sad that someone wants to actually try to fix our country? Are you sad because the world already likes us better for finally electing the right person to do the job? Are you only sad because your candidate didn't win and all you wanted was for him to win so you could say "we won"? If you want to be bitter, fine, just shut your mouth crawl in a hole and leave the rest of us alone. It is now time for us to fucking rock.

Friday, March 14, 2008

I Like It Just Because

I'm a fan of wrestling. I've been a fan since I was a kid, watching old AWA on Saturday afternoons. Yes, I know it's scripted, but that doesn't make it any less fun. People think you are low class or haven't any taste. I will admit that some of the unwashed backward thinking demographic will perpetuate those views. That's ok. I think the same thing about people who are fans of Sex in the City, or Survivor, or Boston Legal. Seriously those shows fucking suck. SITC is practically unwatchable. Those four characters have no redeeming value. And as for Boston Legal, don't even get me started on that fucking hack Shatner.

Back to wrestling. Some of the story lines are so ridiculous that they are brilliant. I don't agree to them having pay-per-views every month, that takes away from the weekly shows. I did like it better when Vince McMahon didn't own everything. Back when you had WCW and the WWF competing for viewers it was a win win for the people. There were not any throw away story lines from either company. They couldn't afford to. They had to put out their best show every week. Now if there is a weak story line, who cares, because where the hell else are you going to go.

Here is the main reason for this blog. Last week my wife and I went to a wrestling event. Note to self, if it isn't actually on a Monday or Friday, it is not worth it. This was a Monday night raw event held on a Saturday. When we walked in and saw that there was no Titantron or announcers table or t.v. cameras we knew we were screwed. We were so glad that we got the cheap seats. So we were just going to enjoy our kitschy fun. Or so we thought. I end up sitting next to a large woman in her forties, wearing red sweatpants and t shirt. Next to her is her eighty year old mother. Wow, ten seconds in and I'm already weirded out. She immediately has to start talking to me. She has a program and is pointing out various wrestlers and telling me who she likes and dislikes and why. Then she has to start throwing out little tidbits of there lives, most of which is wrong. Then the festivities began and she is way into it. And then it dawns on me that oh shit she thinks this is real. Shit she was even way into the no-name warm-up matches. She's yelling shit like, "Rip his head off, or, "Break is arm." When people would start up chants she would join right in. She would tell her favorites to look out, or to the villain don't you dare. She would do hand signs as well. At first it was amusing, then annoying. She had the same mentality about wrestling as that of a ten year old. When she came back from the bathroom with her mother she actually asked me who was winning. I was dumbfounded by this question because of the context of our setting. Pretty soon my wife tells me that this situation calls for beer. So soon we are both enjoying a $6.00 16oz bottle of Miller Light. Worth every penny. So intermission comes and as we are walking around we decide to leave. No harm. No foul. We got our monies worth. I'm just wondering what that woman next to me thought when we didn't come back. She was probably horrified. As I'm writing this I'm thinking that that woman had the time of her life that night. We both like wrestling for totally different reasons. She might take it a little too far, but who cares. She's not hurting anyone. In my mind at the time I was making fun of her but now that I think about it, why? Sure, it may be a little sad, but she had a great time and we left early feeling disappointed. If you could go back to believing in Santa Claus would you? Wouldn't it make Christmas as fun as it used to be?

Monday, February 18, 2008

Seriously. That was taken?

Like most people, I have blogs in a couple of different places. Somebody recommends a spot for you to start posting for various reasons, like this place is so much more user friendly. Or don't post there because that site is lame and I will never read your blog so come over here. The problem I have is creating a new account. Not the actual doing of it. It's the coming up with user names. First I start with my actual name. First initial and last name. Not available. Various combinations using first, middle, and last name. Not available. Huh? I have a pretty uncommon name. How is this possible? I don't like just adding a number just for the sake of getting it done. Instead of being a loser, now you are loser222. Now you are just an unimaginable bastard to the power of the number you typed after it. So now I'm trying to get clever. Now I'm typing in cool characters from various worlds of fiction. All taken. Now I'm getting pissed. Let's just start flinging out random word combinations. 'Traintrackbuttslap', 'Meatlogbookmark', 'Alfalfawondernuts'. Taken, taken, taken. Are you fucking kidding me? How are these Frankensteinish words of doom taken? And of all things, they are being taken as user names. Hey, if you want to be known as 'Traintrackbuttslap' in the privacy of your own home, cool, good for you. But the world doesn't need to be privy to that information. So finally, after hours of soul searching, and pouring over your dictionary slash thesaurus, your user name is finally accepted. Hallelujah! So rejoice Dorkface@fartbreath.com, now you just need to come up with a password. Good luck.