Thursday, June 16, 2011

You Must Work at Candyland

I've seen a new phrase thrown around this year that leaves me scratching my head. I don't know if it is because everyone on the internet works at the perfect utopian place of business. Or you have only had one supervisor and that person had angel wings and an S on their chest, but every time I hear or see the phrase, 'Like a Boss', I instantly think, "Oh, you mean like an asshole."

Sure, I've had some decent bosses in the past, but they've never done anything that makes me think, "That dude shits glitter." So when I see the phrase 'Like a Boss' attached to an individual's sports accomplishment, do you mean:

They took credit for something they didn't do?

They came and went as they pleased, didn't actually work 40 hours, but still managed to get paid for some mysterious overtime?

They made up some bullshit work to do so they could avoid actual work?

They got yelled at by their boss and instead of bucking up and taking responsibility, they take out their frustrations on their staff?

They constantly pass the buck?

Instead of actually learning all of their job duties, they sneakily get others to do their work for them?

That's what I think of when people say, "Like a Boss". I think that the player must have done something shitty or failed miserably. "Hey, did you see the Sharks game last night? Thornton dives like a boss." I feel that that statement made a much more appropriate use of the phrase. Favre pic texted his cock like a boss. When a player holds out for more money, they are totally like a boss. When they say they won't play for a certain city, they say it like a boss. Lebron played all of the 4th quarters like a boss.

Like a Boss will never mean something good for me. It's also kind of generic. There are different levels of boss. Are we talking middle management like a boss, or is this supposed to be CEO or owner level like a boss? I think we should just drop this whole Like a Boss catch phrase and move on to the next flash in the pan bumper sticker phrase.

By the way, did you guys see Tim Thomas' performance in the Stanley Cup Finals? That dude totally shits glitter.