This Space For Rent

Is society still going to keep arguing over this topic? I, myself, just did it right there. What are you talking about you ask? What? You didn't see that? These huge fucking double spaces between my sentences. Holy shit I think the world might end.

First things first. I was pointed in the direction of an article written by someone named Manjoo. I'm sorry, but I have a hard time taking advice from a dude who's name sounds like Manjuice. So Cocksauce wants to berate two spacers for daring to sully the print and interweb arena with our sinfully egregious use of two spaces. He even goes into the mind-blowingly awesome history of typography. Are you fucking serious Mr. Dickdrizzle? I don't give a shit if you found out that ancient Egyptians used single spacing between their hieroglyphs. You might just find this if you dig hard enough; moonwalking stork, period, SPACE, SPACE, crocodile playing poker. He goes on to show that the spacing rule has changed throughout history. So guess what Penisanaise, maybe we are seeing another shift in the spacing way of life? Since it has never been concrete, who's to say that this isn't what is happening. And just because Joe Blow's Book of Stylish Punctuation says so, that doesn't make it fucking so.

If somebody shot you once in the head you would have one space. If somebody shot you twice in the head you would have two spaces. You would still be fucking dead Weinercondiments. (I'm sorry, I ran out.)

Can't we as a society agree that this is a personal preference issue? Many of us were taught to type this way. Some people find it aesthetically pleasing. Oh, and another thing Manjoo, the amount of space you complained about wasting with double spaces is the same amount of space you wasted with your stupid fucking article. But you also wasted our time. Your next article should be The Benefits of Fucking a Light Socket. Make sure your research is as thorough as it was with typography. This means trying it with the switch in both positions.

If the difference between a single space and a double space is so glaringly offensive to your eyeballs, just poke them out and learn braille. Happy now? If not, I write this last paragraph in the hopes that your head will explode. How am I to achieve this? Easy. This last passage is triple spaced bitches.